Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
Last night after we fucked, I washed my vag in vodka so I wouldn't get an STD
Or, you could have used a condom
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
What's the most polite way to say "Congrats on losing weight, but no one is happy your boobs got smaller."
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
When you wake up to a porn star on your couch telling you, you better tell your boyfriend about last night.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
