Kris Allen: Jason Mraz mixed with John Mayer and a splash of orgasmmm
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
Dude that's beautiful. I've never heard of someone smoking with their bunny.
I feel like I have a connection with him. A marijuana-induced-spiritual connection.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
Are you okay? You're not sitting at home on facebook. I'm worried about you.
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
"Plot twist... I'm straight."
Randomize
