You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
It must have been true love
I don't call true love eating a bag of doritos and then going down on each other
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
And our DD is passed out in the bathtub with the curtain closed. What happened tonight
Currently playing beer pong versus the girl i lost my virginity to.....and her mom
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Just read 119 best sex positions. I wanna try 107 of them. Can I put you down for 50?
Updates: Made out with a teletubby last night in the middle of the street #lifegoals
i am craving dick and cupcakes
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
Randomize
