im in a kiddie pool, high, with a keg in arms reach. If i had a sandwich and a blowjob this would be the best day ever
p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
I'm gonna have sex with a woman...help
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
Because drinking and showering don't go hand in hand. There that's my PSA of the day.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
I can't get past the whole vibrator up the ass stunt.. Can we have a ceremonial burning for his dignity because I will not ever touch that again..
Just opened my sisters laptop to "cute places to lose my virginity" googled last
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