i fell asleep last night with fifteen animal crackers in my mouth. rock bottom dude.
He was dressed in cheap leather and smelled like death.
He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
do you think they make "congratulations unfit mother" greeting cards?
or abortion recommendation cards.
right. well i dont plan on getting laid till i find a respectable girl that i can make unrespectable
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
No, I didn't like him that much. But I took one for the team. And by the team I mean me and my vagina.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
all I know is id definitely throw up if you guys ever dated so if you do stay the fuck away from me
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
Positive reviews on angieslist?
Randomize
