I painted my nails silver
And what are the implications of that?
Is there supposed to be a msg in that? Just thought ud like to know it looks like I fingerbanged an alien
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Just thought i'd let you guys know that my dad was roofied at a lesbian bar last night...
Celebrating anything "Eve" is never a good choice! I feel like my soul's been put in a blender on the "destroy" setting- in other news: Happy 4th of July
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Hooked up with a guy resembling a bearded Cher. I need the lenses on my beer goggles fixed. Pronto.
You should help rebuild my confidence with your dick. Altruism: Pass it on.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Which is worse that I came in public or that no one noticed?
U were so upset when the shower ruined ur nachos. I didn't kno what to do.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
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