Can I come over?
Can't... I'm at class right now.
No your not
I'm outside by your car.
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
I tried to say goodbye but you were hugging a trash can and I wasn't sure if you had clothes on
I say we go and bring jello shots with laxatives. 57% sure one of his toilets is broken
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
You having your own car has severely reduced the amount of blowjobs I get.
We need to move to a different bar soon. When we're standing on the patio, and every guy around us has seen us naked...there's a problem
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
