I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I literally have been drunk for three days entirely by myself, the world cup may kill me
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I just wanna get drunk and watch Tarzan with you is that to much to ask?!?
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
