I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
He was drunk at Denny's at 5 am saying how Dear John was the worst movie he has ever seen... eyes filled with tears.
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I hope your lack of response means you're banging, not talking about her purity ring.
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
All I want to do is ice my pussy, but then my husband would probably infer that I was not at a business meeting last night.
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
I still have a little drunk in my system
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
