You wanted to speak to the manager of mcdonalds as to why a "bag of cheeseburgers" isn't a menu option.
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me
i finally watched harry potter... a tad unrealistic if you ask me... i mean a ginger kid with 2 friends?
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
I've spent the last ten minutes rubbing glue sticks on the wall
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
You are too young to settle down enjoy your life. The window to get drunk and have casual sex with strangers gets smaller by the day.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
but seriously, an anthropology paper shouldn't be hard if you're trashed, right?
like when you break up with someone your virginity slowly starts to grow back & when it's done it's like ding ding ding you're ready to date again
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
