i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I said to him "i can't have sex with anyone in my friend's living room" then he said "we can move the air mattress into the kitchen"
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
May the power of my ass compel you!!
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
Randomize
