I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Apparently getting drunk, buying a guitar from your local costco and walking in to an open mic night is not the same as rocking out to guitar hero...
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
Until you find your self finger banging supergirl in the middle of the dance floor while her friends are passing around for luigi mustache for a photo op, YOU HAVE NOT HIT MY LEVEL
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I respect your roll as DD and there're am required to respect your vehicle
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
he broke off the kiss to ask "can I grab your boob?" like props for asking for clear and concise consent but there HAS to be a sexier way to do it
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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