he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Why would I send you a picture of it when I could just steal the gnome and put it in your bed with you? Admit it, he looks just like gnomeo!
If you were a good friend you would take the nipple tassels off me before the ambulance comes.
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I didn't notice because vodka
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
She's trying to change her flight... IM BEING COCKBLOCKED BY DELTA CUSTOMER SERVICE
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Randomize
