did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
If you stick your dick in my spaghetti, we're fighting.
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
We left an ass print on the piano.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
You walked in on us hooking up, hugged me, high fived him and unhooked my bra.. You claimed to be helping
there is puke in my bra ... again
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
