By the way the awkward moment from yesterday is now a bad situation I have to figure out.
Thank you Grey Goose.
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
She climbed through the window and into my bed. Not even sure who she is. Was thinking she might be a friend of yours?
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
Well the weed wore off around 10:30 and then the date dragged on until about 1 in the morning. So I've decided I really need to start smoking closer to the actual start time of a date. Then maybe they'd be more bearable.
Walking my dog and eating a taco in last night's dress.. Classy
Have you ever got so drunk that you tasted the future?
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Sarah just give sum homeless dude a lap dance, took like 2$ worth of change from his cup and was all like, "Biiitch, this aint free"..
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
