my drunken desire to be gossip girl continues to ruin friendships for me
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
Both our collective sex appeal dies once someone cums on a snuggie kayla
Is it wrong that I want to do a nude photo shoot with nothing but a light saber?
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
I woke up in the basement of a pizza restaurant... I would say the tequila hit me pretty hard.
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I hate when pretentious people talk bad ab corn dogs
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