My hair reeks of homosexuality.
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I can hear my fat mexican neighbor yelling "do you like that!" ...I hope its not his dog
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
we agreed that it was acceptable to get the cat high as long as we gave her a lot of food.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
nothing says "functioning mature adult" like sneaking beer out of your mom's fridge in a lunchbox
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
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