I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
Just crossed the line from casual pregrame to public intoxication. Shotgunning in a bus shelter.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just woke up in bed, rolled over, and found a whole pizza.
this is the second day in a row.
Oh. Yeah. It's the same pizza then.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Randomize
