8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
Hey, you guys have all had chicken pox, right?
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
I hate cuddling. I also hate when people breathe. Which he did, a lot. So he can go to hell.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I can't wait till they start promoting the testiciplasty. Turn those old prunes into fresh tight kiwis!
Me: 10% human, 90% poor drunken life choices.
danced like there was no tomorrow. surprise. there's a tomorrow
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Ugh. I need to go to the store, but I'm too lazy. Whatever shall I do? That girls still passed out. I should steal her car
So today the police came to my dorm to look for weed, i didn't have any in the room, so i let them in. they apologized for any inconvenience and then left after finding nothing. then i realized i was wearing gauges with weed leaves on them lol
Randomize