So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
I think I'm drunk. That wine was old. I found it behind the water heater next to the mouse poison.
I can't feel my brain.
ITS A JAGER BOTTLE. NOTHING CAN BE BAD IF ITS JAGER RELATED.
I don't remember but we shouldn't have a problem. Unless drunk you encouraged drunk me not to wear a condom.
I think we have a problem.
Did u smell a guys dreadlocks in the McDonald's drive thru line last night or did I dream that?
Yeah well you try taking nice pictures while you have pizza crust lodged in your throat
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
Can my mom come with to the bar? Prince just died and I feel like I need to take her out to cheer her up.
Well, i'm not hugging a bag of cheetos and crying while I watch Friends wishing that we were Ross and Rachel. So clearly I'might doing better than last night.
Randomize
