# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
I dont wanna date her. I just wanna be able to run a blacklight over her face and prove ownership.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
so high and i think i just ordered a magic bullet.
did you call within the first 18 minutes? can i have the free one?
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
You know it was a challenge blowing out the candles. It was hard to think of a wish, while drunk, with a concussion.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Take off that red sweater and wear my vagina as a facemask.
If court goes my way we are flying to Vegas.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
Remember the time you cried about coconuts
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
How... how did you get Adam Lambert's shoes? Does he know you have them? DID YOU STEAL ADAM LAMBERT'S SHOES?! Oh my God I am so turned on right now.
Randomize
