thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
She threw up in my garbage can last night and walked home with it this morning so she could clean it out...
She is dropping it off on the way to the bar at 7.
can you call in chlamydia to work? like if the antibiotics they gave you for it are giving you the shits...
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
so thats a no on the drunken crutches race 2moro
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
she stuffed her marc jacobs purse full of cereal
classy
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