She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
She just squirted all over my face. then laughed at me and took a pic
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Things are very odd on my 29th hour of being awake. Thought there was a bird in my lecture hall and it was just a girl putting up her hair. What even
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I called him my big strong man today. It's all downhill from here. Matching Christmas sweaters, here we come
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