I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
dude, i think i am in a porno. I was working out at the hotel gym and some chick was doing yoga and a guy comes up and says "good, now i know your flexible" then they started making out. WTF?
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
I hope you remember pushing the girl off the stage because you said she wasn't good at pole dancing.
I awoke this morning to a naked boyfriend flying a remote controlled shark around his apartment. This is my life.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
In the mean time, I'll continue to kick ass at running and become a successful stripper while he might hook up with one average looking girl he met at a club. I so win.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I might volunteer to give breath samples on the 17th where I would be required to get drunk and then give samples! THE POLICE WOULD PAY ME AND PROVIDE THE ALCOHOL!
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
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