so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
This is like the best thing that's ever happened to us. We're getting paid to sit around get high and eat. There is a Jesus
All he did was like my Instagram picture and I'm already planning how to turn down sex with him this weekend...
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
I just wanted to be nice to your dick and you are rhyming at me.
Had to snap chat three different people to ask who left the bite mark on my thigh. All three said "Wasn't me". Now I can't wear a bathing suit to my mom's pool.
Well, if it's rabies, your lips will swell just prior to the frothing. Get a lot of good pics!
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