I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
While she was crying about breaking up, he looked at her through his fork and said "of course she's upset, she's in jail." Having sex with him tonight.
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
She asked if my windows were tinted enough for road head.
also, I just found three random bruises on my knee. probably from when I was velcrod to the stairs
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
It's finals week and I'm halfway done with this bag of wine and don't plan on stopping. Say goodbye to my GPA
What do I have to do?! Spell it out for him? Why can't he just plow me and pull my hair at the same time
You are my new hero
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
