He's marrying her, which means that she is his most important person in the world, so you gotta deal with it...okay?
I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
please promise me that no matter what happens you will keep me away from the children
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
At least you have booty calls.
True. I just waste them though. I feel like I need to be told "there are people in this world who would give anything for just one and you have two." You know in that same tone your parents told you about the starving people in china
My pupils are so HUGE you can see into my soul from 2 miles away
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
Randomize
