its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
but the lizard people decide everything anyway
how soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
You're like my zumba instructor for alcoholism right now
This girl just texted me asking me to drop her cheese. What the fuck for that mean?
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
we are eating waffles in the pillow fort. Still think you're too straight for a threesome?
I'll be right over.
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
It was just another case of she fell in love I fell asleep.
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