I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
On this egg donor form, it asks "In the past 5 years, have you had sex for drugs or money?" It only gives a yes or no option and no place to explain myself. What do I do?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I don't remember anything other than how good it felt when I peed my pants.
He is now tagging himself in my pics from last year where he is barely visable in the corner. i feel like he's marking his territory.
I've come to the conclusion while folding laundry and watching porn that I may be dead inside.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
It was about the point the universe collapsed in on itself and I was a singularity of insanity that I realized I was tripping balls.
I don't know who's more excited for you to come home. Me or my vagina
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
After closing we did it on every flat surface in the bar. Best use a coaster if you're coming to happy hour today.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
I just motorbotted some guy and my hair got stuck in his nipple ring...owww
Randomize
