before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
it feels good to walk into a CVS and not go straight to the pharmacy counter for plan b. its been a while....
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
There's always a certain something about a day that begins with your panties in your purse.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
It's still 8am.
Yeah, but its wine drunk. WITH A DOCTOR. THAT MAKES MY MORNING CLASSY.
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
On the bright side, only one more day until we aren't sober anymore.
Randomize
