my mom asked me how i could steal on a clear conscious and i told her it was because when i was younger she let me watch alladin and he did it.
Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
well i did feel guilty about it. until i saw how hot the guy was the next day. now, nothing but pride.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I never thought that taking apart multiple age 5 and under puzzles would be part of my house party clean up process.
Yeah, sorry about that. I just couldn't stop.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
Oh I love our desires, it's riding my bike at 2 AM with a massive erection that I dislike.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
Based on my body hair location, my ancestors had very cold hamstrings and very warm chests
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
Randomize
