She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
Fell into a man hole last night. I've been bleeding since 11pm. Got kicked out of the bar for being bloody.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
You "drove" the computer chair around the party for a good fifteen minutes. you would crash into things, freak out, and yell for an ambulance.
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
I cant believe you bit her ass cheek, she must have been really weirded out.
yeah so we made out to make it less awkward
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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