just tell him i said nine months
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
Im not spending 10 to get hit on by potential transexuals even if they are cuter than most of the girls I dated.
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
Randomize
