what has become of my life if the best thing thats happened to me this week is that i discovered my cleavage as the best hiding spot ever for weed.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
OH MY GOD THE LITTLE GIRL IS SITTING WITH US WHILE WE SMOKE. I'M NOT DOING THIS
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
gave out my moms phone number instead of mine last night... thattttttttttttttt dunk.
GOOD MORNING! This is your wake up call! Just incase this text wasn't enough, I had sex on your bed last night while you were drunk hitting on my sister. Dan jizzed on your pillow! We rubbed it on both sides! Now get up and go to class!
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
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