I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
getting your period on valentines day is like an extra little fuck you, now you REALLY have no chance of sex tonight.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
I've made out with men from every corner of the globe. Sex-wise, I've almost conquered europe. Take that napoleon
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
You are going to be so proud of me, I'm wearing underwear AND tights. That's two layers more than usual between my vagina and the world.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
When's the last time you had sex near some ducks?
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
Dude. Craziest ride ever. I was convinced that the bus was an airplane. There were clouds when I looked out the window. I got really upset every time the bus turned because airplanes shouldn't turn.
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