I just woke up and found a naked man on my floor. Looks like Dad had a wild night of strip poker
I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
I saw that some person on TFLN used a bag of wine as a pillow. I tried it last night. I forgot to close the spout. I woke up and thought my face had a period
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
I just found a pubic hair on my dick that wasn't mine.
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
It sounds miserable..I have to wear a dress and it's a cash bar?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I accidentally kneed him in the balls while trying to straddle him so we ended up spending the night watching ffm porn online
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
QUIT BEING A BITCH, DRINK SOME PEPTO, AND PUKE ON OUR FOES
Randomize
