It smelt so bad when i tried biting off her underwear that i didn't want to touch with my mouth
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
Bro, i just sang journey's "dont stop beleavin" at mcdonalds. and the guy was sooo impressed he gave us free food. God i love america
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
She is watching her grandpa for the day and the dude just whipped it out and started jerking off while watching the View.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
Just a little drinking. So much fun and love. The world is a shiny wonderful sphere in the sky so why shouldn't we celebrate?
I remember her making the first martini but the rest of the weekend is a blur of vodka, high heels and sex toys.
First time being used by a cougar. Definitely okay with it
Did you get good sleep?
I dreamt that I was a lipstick lesbian in the 1950s, working at Walgreens and solving mysteries.
So yes.
Randomize
