Have you finally orgasmed yet?
bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
I will give you vagina for bag of have'a corn chips.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I don't care if he's the coolest coworker, if he's living in his mom's basement at 30 you should not buy drugs from him
All i remember from last night was that i was sitting on the toilet for a good hour eating a philly cheesesteak hotpocket... then i woke up... in my bed.
I accidentally sent my mom a nude picture of my ass... she replied with how did you get that angle ?
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