So drunk its hurt
What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
I have before 2 am pics and after 2am pics, which do you want to see first?
I didn't want to talk to him so I just started telling him how important Jesus was to me
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
He offered me handsanitizer after a hand job, you can't tell me he's not perfect!
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
I tried to get the guy I like to “spit shake” on a sexual bet... why am I such a bro fml
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
Randomize
