Great, now everyone thinks I've had giraffe semen in me
you made me "pop lock and drop it" as a sobriety test last night..
Just woke to a Christmas wrapped pack of hotdogs in my bathtub. How high did we get?
The freshman sure do fuck up the whataburger line at 2am
So if we break up over this are you still gonna come over and do my dishes?
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
the question is "speedos?" and the answer is "yes".
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
You told me that you were mad me because I wouldn't let you 'explore my castle'. Then you said I smelled like a hospital and passed out.
Haha he puts me in a mood mix of annoyed and... "just get in my pants"
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
