The girl next to me in class is taking notes on woman's suffrage with a girls gone wild pen.
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
his mom gave me my lost underwear folded up along with the rest of my christmas present. tell me this cannot be happening.
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
i am craving dick and cupcakes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Snorted a dorito chip for 1$. Cross that off the bucket list.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
I just discovered my new vice. Cotton candy vodka. Its like a carnival in my mouth, puking of the tilt-a-whirl included.
Randomize
