Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
did i by any chance text you anything about feathers last night?
you mean faeutihaers?
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
we were at work and Infront of the whole bar you yelled. "JAKE I WANNA GET FUCKED TONIGHT!" Us day drinking > everyone else
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
Fuck the library it's too quiet and makes me uneasy. I feel like I'm so isolated I should take off my pants or something
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
Randomize
