you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
pretty sure i remember announcing that i lost my virginity to that brad paisley song when it came on during power hour?
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
Cover for me. Stopped at Chris’ for a quickie. Broke a high heel and there’s jizz all over my black dress. Fuck pornstars for making workday sex look easy
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
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