thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
she's basically destroyed all of the faith i had that skinny blond girls could be a functioning part of society.
it's not cheating when I paid for it
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I'm wearing a real bra and real shoes. I look like a fucking lady.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
Please root for the ravens. I now have oral sex riding on this and it's been sooooo long
we were looking for paper towels to wrap his hand and i yanked a drawer out of the cabinet, it was fun so we just kept doing it. things escalated and long story short, he isn't gettin his security deposit back
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
I was so high I could TASTE the fillings in my teeth
I have 4 more smokes and 6 more beers to go before I make a life changing decision like that.
Randomize
