I drank like a thousand beers last night and my poo is solid, not gross like usual. I think this means I've grown up.
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
My cab driver has a hooker in the front seat. Really, this is serious. And weird.
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
So my parents just watched me pour their rum into a bottle and only add crystal light powder, no water... Talk about being judged. All I could say was "Cortland tricks?"
I just woke up naked next to a GetGo sandwich and I can hear my cats are eating my combos. So that's my life.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
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