I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
This is the I'm sorry text for running around yelling don't shit on my rainbow, end up in the fetal position crying at 4 am in my car because someone shit on my rainbow
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Randomize
