singing on the bus should be illegal
huh?
There's a group of like 8 white people in the back of the bus harmonizing to sugar we're going down
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
I went for the touchdown every play, and I think I ended up with herpes.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Got dumped. Now accepting nominations for my extra Dave Mathews ticket. No xboyfriends. Must cast final votes by Monday. Good luck everyone
That's what you get for doing kinky shit with a guy that lives in his moms basement.
I WAS SURROUNDED BY HAIRY BALLS ALL ALONE.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
I just puked on the sidewalk. At 11am. Thought you'd like to know.
Just found out I lit my hair on fire last night.
I keep worrying she's gonna have a repeat of the time the ceiling fan was talking in Chinese
Randomize
