im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i was considerably less excited after they told me my present didnt have a penis
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
They were fighting, but then they bumped into the bong and it shattered. After that they just hugged and cried.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You're like the curious george of whores
I miss the good ol' days when we would yell at strangers from your balcony while wearing our mexican ponchos in the middle of the day.
what ever happened to our old dealer?
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
So which one of you fuckers changed my backgrounds while I was passed out to me holding a chicken like the statue of liberty?
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Just stuck all that extra cocaine money we made in a savings account...like a responsible adult..
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize
