I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Do you think Tom Brady went home tonight and changed his facebook status to "pink with lace"?
I accidentally requested the ides of march off instead of st patricks day. Is this an omen? will alcohol be my brutus?
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
Well, there are worse ways to make $50 at a gay club.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
I like how she'll post a picture on Instagram with her boyfriend and 2 hours later you'll send me a snap of her panties on your rear view mirror
lol hangovers are for mortals.
You grabbed my dick don't call me son
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
Randomize
