his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
She thinks I should try and corrupt him and take his virginity. While I do love virgins, I'm a little too lazy to put in the corruption effort right now. That's a summer kinda job.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
I have a txt file I don't remember making open on my desktop. All it says is "what it's like to be a bat"
I feel really sorry for my toilet right now
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