You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
The money is just too good to quit doing it. I'm using the same justification strippers use.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The molly dropped while I was taking a shit. Do you have any idea how scary that is?
That does not seem like timing
You're doing a terrible job of letting me hook up with girls vicariously through you.
Yelling at the starbucks lady to write Beyoncé on my cup
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
just move with us, we wanted to get a dog. youre kind of the same thing..
I just watched a squirrel take down a snake,life isn't so bad after all.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize