never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Moment of the day: as we leave the restaurant, she reaches into my pocket, pulls out her panties, and angrily marches to her car. I felt like a sketchy magician.
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
Just realized I could have five different dicks in me the day of valentines day but no real date. My life
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... Men can be so sensitive...
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
Randomize
