i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
and ill be dreaming of you. not in a creepy way, but in an inappropriate way
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
Just promise me we won't die tonight. I can't have an autopsy report that reads "stomach contents: Tequila and semen."
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
He just told me I was beautiful, whilst I peed into a cup. If this isn't love I don't know what is.
Randomize
