I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
pretty sure I called you last night to sing Hebrew to you.
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I felt guilty, it was so good!
Guilty? Oh great, I give the Jewish mother-in-law of blowjobs.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I'd just like to formally thank you for the size of your dick. The gods must really love you.
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I paid for lunch, then he made a bunch of holes in my wall and destroyed my bathroom.
Randomize
