Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
Today I made a list of everyone I have had sex with...there is more than double my age...
Just because i have a masturbation problem doesnt mean you can put 20 photos of Jesus in my room.
You dont understand he had a split tongue thats bucket list worthy.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
The yard is growling at me WHAT DID U GIVE ME?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
when the officer asked him if he had been drinking, he just goes, "yeah, you?" then falls onto the table.
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
Randomize
