Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
You were a hurricane of blowjobs and glitter makeup. You came out of the closet and took the house down with it
You cannot tell me you don't have a problem while crying pantsless on a stranger's sofa bed.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Found sauce from last night's pizza rolls wedged under my phone case... While sitting in my 8 am class. What happened last night?
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
He doesn't have an existential crisis after we have really violent sex now which is nice
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
Randomize
