In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
I just lost my handcuff virginity and not in the sexy way.
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
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