just ate pastrami before passing out in my hotel room. My room smells like a petting zoo
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
Probably should plan this out. Step one: grow stache. Two: get trenchcoat. Three: Kidnap Selena Gomez.
I had better be fucking involved with step four.
5 am is for sleeping. Or getting railed on by a stranger. But never for fundraising. Get real.
she definitely blew him on the riverbank, some lady floated past and said "have some pride honey", amazingly awkward
Its so fun. We're having a music war with the boat next to us. They have strippers.
do you think they make 'sorry for walking in on you drunkenly jacking of to a picture of me' cards?
I don't have any bail money, if that's where this conversation is going
I consider myself to be an upstream bisexual
You're the salmon of the gays...
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
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