i'm at a party where swedish girls are dumping laundry detergent on each other because it glows in blacklight. this is awesome
TRUE LIFE: my roommate is growing a bush.
better yet, TRUE LIFE: my roommates boyfriend begged her to grow a bush.
the only plus side is that now I'll be able to tell my son not to trust the condoms that his college gives away..........
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Do you remember calling me and dedicating a shot to me?
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
The salesman at the smoke shop just told me my hair is glorious...
Stop your judging. I got free booze AND an oil change. You're the one whose always saying we're spending too much money.
I just woke up in the closet wearing nothing but a Santa hat.
I just want to bone him one last time before he moves across the country with his new (average looking) girl friend.
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
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