dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
Please stop sending me picture messages of your shit. Seriously. I don't care if it looks like popcorn chicken.
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
He felt like a one man threesome
21st Birthday Idea: liquor store gift registry. Give me a promotion.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
The ONE weekend I don't put anything up my nose, and it decides to bleed like crazy
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
I think the heterosexuals across the hall are negotiating about breeding. How do I figure out which one is against it and back them up?
Randomize
