He looks like a mix between a retired piano teacher and a cat that just swallowed a sock.
nobody is as good of a wingman as me. i make whoever im with look like mark wahlberg during his underwear model phase
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
On a side note...my DUI lawyer just snapchatted me. This is the exact moment in time when I realized my like IS a joke.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Randomize
