i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Drunk on an escalator. I fell like 15 flights of stairs without actually moving more than 5 feet.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I need a straight guy to pretend to be my boyfriend for 30 minutes so that I can pull off an act of petty vengeance. Interested?
Where did this racoon skin hat, stop sign and bag full of tacos come from?
Narnia or $5 pitcher night either way
I just passed a truck with its bed lined with a tarp and filled with water with six dudes chilling in the back driving through campus. That looks fun.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
I would totes reciprocate the nip pic, but I'm sick with a piece of tissue shoved up one of my nostrils and I'm just not feeling that ambitious. Sorry.
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
I'm the girl holding the bag of goldfish
If I end up in the hospital remind me to order jimmy johns.
Why?
They deliver.
Randomize
