Just crossed the line with my beat friends girl twinsie. Didn't realize tillz afta how much the look alike and an thougholy creeped out. Thanks ciroc
sometimes i wish i had boobs. not on me. just like in a drawer.
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
She had her insurance card taped to her arm because it was the only thing she "couldn't take off and lose"
I told my dad my stomach hurt and he bet me ten bucks I couldn't throw up on command. He has no idea what I did last night and I got ten bucks.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
I'm tired of looking like my mother fucked Chewbacca.
I woke up this morning with my hand on his dick. That sneaky bastard.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
Things that happen while I poop: I start dating someone
I sort of feel bad for this orthodontist. The things that have been in my mouth in the past 12 hours aren't exactly socially acceptable.
Randomize
