Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
not ubering you a puppy
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I mean, he'll either figure it the fuck out or set my apartment on fire. Either way, it will be entertaining.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
Someone threw up pink in the shower, there's a golf cart tipped over on the lawn and Cousin Brian is missing. What could Friday night throw at us?
I need you to sex the hangover out of me again.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
ARE YOU DEAD? TEXT Y FOR YES OR N FOR NO.
Randomize
