Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
I'm totally counting that party when he kept putting his hands down my pants as a date.
We were hooking up, both of us naked. She starts putting her clothes back on and says, "I have to go to the bathroom." I reply, "No you don't, you're leaving." Without hesitation she looks at me and says, "Yeah."
If I had a quarter for every time I had sex in your bed while you were out of town, I would probably be a lot more willing to buy you new sheets. Hope you're having a nice vacation.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
It reminded me of the time my mother gave my Bailey's in my stocking when I was 14.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
Ya well here is the deal with last night, it was the Biggest shit show we have ever co-stared in.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
I came so hard my ears popped.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
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