Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yeah just got a blowjob at busch stadium during the cardinals game childhood dream realized
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
What did we do last night and why in the fuck were there carrots in my pocket?
I went to steal condoms from your room and all I could find was chik fil a sauce
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
