Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like having to pee in a condom for my cousin so that he can pass a drug test.
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
MISSING: One left eyebrow. Reward if returned.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
It's Been clinically proven that people who have sex 6 or more times per week are happier than those who don't. Just and FYI. For your mental health. From a soon so be psychologist. Who is drunk.
It's a little weird that I'm blowing my wingman.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Not going to make it tonight. Some cougar at the bar just told me she has dibs on my dick.
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