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• (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!

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• (914): View more from New York

  when we woke up the fish was dead lying next to us on the bed. wat should i tell her

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• (714): View more from California

  im just glad that if you were going to have awkward hospital sex, you would want it with me

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• (816): View more from Missouri

  So he told me he didn't have a condom, paused, and then said "so, pulling out" and tried to high five me.

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• (413): View more from Massachusetts

  He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."

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• (262): View more from Wisconsin

  I might have been fine if i had magic teleportation powers and could have skipped the car ride between bar and home

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• (401): View more from Rhode Island

  Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.

  (1-401): View more from Rhode Island

  You bought MORE?!

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• (219): View more from Indiana

  i knew as soon as i met you that i was gonna be the designated driver

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• (240): View more from Maryland

  Note to self:A blacklight toga party at a frat house is a bad idea. Some things cannot be unseen

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• (707): View more from California

  Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.

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• (619): View more from California

  I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger

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• (937): View more from Ohio

  I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday

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• (305): View more from Florida

  Look idk the rules and regulations of our freindship...but I need you to carry me to my car.

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• (817): View more from Texas

  I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!

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• (406): View more from Montana

  Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.

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